Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
