No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up under a house in Key West
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