Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had to cum in my sink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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