Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
