it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize