yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize