he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
