ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
