So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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