Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
