new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's the barista slut.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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