How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
