We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
