is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We need to get me chipped asap
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
