Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
