Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
