Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
