The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he was CRYING into my vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
