I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
