im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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