Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
