Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
