Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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