My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
