she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
