I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
