Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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