Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize