As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
