Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
