dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
