well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize