just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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