the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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