I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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