next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
