No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
