hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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