I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
