I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
