If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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