Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize