omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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