So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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