we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
