did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
