Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize