i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
