Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
