Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
