Im at strip club and am horny
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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