you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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