So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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