apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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