it wasn't lemon gatorade
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
