drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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