I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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