WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize