Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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