Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
