Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
